Review: Underworld by Meg Cabot

Book: Underworld
Author: Meg Cabot
Series: Abandon Trilogy
Publication Date: May 8th, 2012
Publisher: Point
Rating: 2 Stars

Escape from the realm of the dead is impossible when someone there wants you back.

Seventeen-year-old Pierce Oliviera isn’t dead.

Not this time.

But she is being held against her will in the dim, twilit world between heaven and hell, where the spirits of the deceased wait before embarking upon their final journey.

Her captor, John Hayden, claims it’s for her own safety. Because not all the departed are dear. Some are so unhappy with where they ended up after leaving the Underworld, they’ve come back as Furies, intent on vengeance…on the one who sent them there and on the one whom he loves.

But while Pierce might be safe from the Furies in the Underworld, far worse dangers could be lurking for her there…and they might have more to do with its ruler than with his enemies.

And unless Pierce is careful, this time there’ll be no escape.

I remember the days when I just discovered Meg Cabot, reading all her Princess Diaries books in one day and waiting on tenterhooks for the next installment of the Airhead series, screaming and clutching one of the Mediator books to my chest as I cried for Jesse, or making inhuman squeals as I read 1800-Where-R-U. Those were the days.

But the Meg Cabot who caught my heart with these heartwarming novels? She's either not here, or I'm just way more mature than I was. However, considering that I still giggle at "that's what she said" jokes, I don't think that's the case. So maybe the problem really is that Meg Cabot's writing has deteriorated to the point that I find it annoying and whiny instead of endearing.

I don't want to accept that, so I'll just say this: maybe, finally, Meg Cabot has bit off more than she could chew by undertaking a series about the underworld, just like she did with Insatiable. I know she's trying to take these cliches (the vampire, the bad boy death deity) and turn them into something new and revolutionary, but maybe she should stick with what she does better: taking outrageous ideas and turning them into something heartwarming and sweet.

Underworld really bothered me, and I think Pierce is a big factor in that. Unlike Cabot's earlier characters, she's disgustingly subservient and inept, especially when it comes to making decisions. For some unfathomable reason, she's enamored with John and the size of his muscles (they're as big as melons, apparently), and though she cares about her family, she has no qualms about running amok causing trouble for everyone in Isla Huesos. Also, I never would've thought Cabot capable of making such an elementary mistake, but Pierce's eyes fill with tears way too much.

Are crybaby heroines the new black now? I don't understand this waterworks trend right now.

Pierce cries over everything, and despite my love for Meg Cabot, even the little side quips didn't make me crack a smile. Don't even get me started on John Hayden. He was nowhere as attractive as Michael, or Jesse, or Mitch (from the Boy series; I really loved Girl Meets Boy, for some reason). Probably because he does nothing redeeming, besides that tiny part where he takes Pierce's advice and makes some of the accommodations in the Underworld better. That was it. Elsewhere, he's this domineering jackass who manipulates and lies to Pierce, striking her dumb with the size of his roided up muscles.

Yeeah. Never thought the day would come where I didn't like a Cabot male main character, but here it is. Actually, I didn't like Alaric much either... Uh-oh.

The plot is a bit all over the place, with Pierce rushing around and getting nothing done, then meeting other people. It actually seemed really filler. The real problem wasn't really a problem at all; rather, Pierce makes it into a problem. I didn't like Alex that much because he was an idiot and a dork, but I liked him much more than Pierce and John. I didn't even like Hope that much. She seemed so pretentious.

God, you know things are bad when you don't even like the damned bird.

Whatever, hopefully the next book is better, though judging by the blurb, it seems like same ol' same ol' "lose life or lose love of my life" stuff.
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Review: Entangled by Nikki Jefford

Book: Entangled
Author: Nikki Jefford
Series: Spellbound
Publication Date: February 20th, 2012
Publisher: Nikki Jefford (self-pubbed)
Rating: 3.5 Stars

Two months after dying, seventeen-year-old witch Graylee Perez wakes up in her twin sister Charlene’s body.

Until Gray finds a way back inside her own body, she’s stuck being Charlene every twenty-hour hours. Her sister has left precise instructions on how Gray should dress and behave. Looking like a prep isn’t half as bad as hanging out with Charlene’s snotty friends and gropey boyfriend.

The “normals” of McKinley High might be quick to write her behavior off as post-traumatic stress, but warlock Raj McKenna is the only person who suspects Gray has returned from the dead.

Now Gray has to solve the mystery of her death and resurrection and disentangle herself from Charlene’s body before she disappears for good.

***Entangled is a young adult paranormal fantasy romance suitable for ages 15 and up.***

The supernatural version of Freaky Friday! Ah, I love that movie. The Pre-Lindsay Lohan Drug Addict & Rehabbed Drama Queen days. Entangled is about a teen witch named Graylee with a particularly depraved sister. Graylee dies and gets put back in her sister's body every other day, which naturally, causes a couple of problems. Some of which are her inability to understand French every other day in French class and that she has to kiss sexy warlock Raj in her sister's body.

It does take a while for Entangled to get to the good, death-and-switched-bodies part. Jefford spends a couple pages detailing what kind of world Graylee comes from and the characters that surround her. It was fun experiencing high school through Graylee's eyes, since she has a sarcastic, jaded voice that I really enjoyed. Fortunately, this voice doesn't go away as the book progresses; in fact, it gets stronger as Graylee has to deal with her sister Charlene's body and Charlene's gropey boyfriend and insipid friends.

The plot of the book is easy to follow; I finished the book in a couple days, and I was surprised by how easily I could get sucked into it within minutes of reading. There are some questions left unanswered, like what exactly those poisonous chocolates were for, or what happened to Charlene's annoying friends, Raj's family issues, and what Graylee's mom was up to. It's a light-hearted book, with problems to be found in being unable to conjure clothing into place, or muting people, or coveting invisibility. However, this brevity also takes away from some of the more intense problems. The end happens quickly, and I felt that there wasn't enough devoted to the resolution.

Raj and Gray share the narrator's position, and I really liked Raj. He's an example of a sensitive bad boy done well, though I thought his affection for Gray was a bit sudden. It was nice reading from both their perspectives, from Gray's biting tone to Raj's harder but more regretful one. I would've loved to know what exactly happened after he handed his Zippo over, but I guess I'll have to content myself that he and Graylee are now free to suck face forever.

If you want a light read about bitchy witches, make sure to check this one out!

Thank you Netgalley for giving me a chance to read and review this book.

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Review: Something Strange and Deadly by Susan Dennard

Book: Something Strange and Deadly
Author: Susan Dennard
Series: Something Strange and Deadly
Publication Date: July 24th, 2012
Publisher: HarperTeen
Rating: 3.5 Stars

The year is 1876, and there’s something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia…

Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she’s just read in the newspaper—

The Dead are rising in Philadelphia.

And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor…from her brother.

Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she’ll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including their maddeningly stubborn yet handsome inventor, Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance.

It's one thing to fear death, but it's another to fear the Dead.

There's no denying that this book is kind of awesome. I liked the promise behind the setting. 1800s Philadelphia... Not Victorian England, but Philadelphia. AMERICA. I am proud.

Anyway, there's been hype around this book even before it was published, and I was excited to get to it. Especially since I don't read zombie books often, so this would've been new for me.

However, despite the fast-moving plot and somewhat-likable characters, this story still leaves quite a bit to be desired. There are many questions that are left unanswered, and I always got the feeling that the entire thing was a bit... anachronistic. It's not just the zombies in industrial-era Philadelphia thing, which would have been spectacular if it'd made more sense, but I guess the fact that the plot's motive is never really explained is what muddies up the whole story and makes the things that happen seem out of place. One part I couldn't reconcile was the connection between zombies and spirits and black magic. While creative, this mixture brings in a bunch of completely different subjects and attempts to meld them together, and though Dennard does a decent job, I wasn't ever fully convinced.

There's lots of action, but some of it is a bit choppy and hard to read, as well as overuse of the word, trot. In the midst of it is Eleanor Fitt, who plunges into this medley of ghost killers and slow and hungry zombies and necromancers with realizations that usually strike her quickly and illogically. She does have some moments where she kicks some faces in, and there is a surprise at the finale that really shocked me, but her character development wasn't all that believable to me.

Like Eleanor, the other characters are never fully developed, and I was never that invested in their lives. You know a story hasn't made much of an impact on you when a key character dies and you're just sitting there going "huh" instead of bawling your eyes out. I don't understand why Jie kept saying "yeah?" at the end of her sentences. If it's because she's Chinese, I have never in my life met someone Chinese who asks a question at the end of everything he/she says. Daniel's dialogue was also a bit stilted, but I've never liked the whole cut off end of word thing (saying runnin' instead of running, etc).

I do admit that I liked the romance, and it was one of the more interesting parts of the novel. The characters do suck face, but nothing between them settles down, even at the end. I liked that Daniel was all grumpy and sweet, and I found the love story likable, especially since it's not too central to the story but manages to develop nicely regardless. That doesn't detract from Eleanor's capacity for irritating me, but it was still cute.

That said, I want to know if Eleanor meets Daniel again. I also want to know if the little twist at the ending will change her at all. Dennard did leave the book on a bit of a bittersweet cliffhanger, so I'll definitely read the next one and hope it's better than the first.
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Review: Rapture by Lauren Kate

Book: Rapture
Author: Lauren Kate
Series: Fallen
Publication Date: June 12th, 2012
Publisher: Delacorte Press
My rating: 2 Stars

The sky is dark with wings....

Like sand through an hourglass, time is running out for Luce and Daniel. To stop Lucifer from erasing the past, they must find the place where the angels fell to earth.

Dark forces are after them, and Daniel doesn’t know if he can do this — live only to lose Luce again and again. Yet together they face an epic battle that will end with lifeless bodies...and angel dust. Great sacrifices are made. Hearts are destroyed.

And suddenly Luce knows what must happen. For she was meant to be with someone other than Daniel. The curse they’ve borne has always and only been about her — and the love she cast aside. The choice she makes now is the only one that truly matters.

In the fight for Luce, who will win?

Rapture is the astonishing conclusion to the FALLEN series. Heaven can’t wait any longer.

Not quite as bad as I expected. I'm disappointed, though. Let me tell you why.

If you're given this awesome pitch about this love that transcends time and space, that has happened over and over again and fallen apart the same way, wouldn't you be interested? I know the sappy romantic me would be. I'd heard about Fallen and its bad ratings before I read it, but there was that doubt in my mind. How bad could it be? With a plot like that...

After I read the first and second books, I got my answer.

Really, REALLY bad.

It's just... I began these books expecting this beautiful love that would make me cry, that would make me hold onto Daniel and Luce and never want them to go and always want them together and want to buy some Superglue so I could just stick them together forever.

Instead, I got a useless wimp and an emasculated, chauvinistic (how oxymoronic!) idiot.

So you can see how I'd be disappointed.

I think this could contend with Romeo & Juliet over Most Tragic Love Story That Actually Sucks.

Now, let's bring ourselves away from the series and focus on Rapture specifically.

It was actually halfway decent. I was surprised that Kate managed to tie up the loose ends that she apparently couldn't do in the third book. The third book was basically mindless fluff. I loved the time traveling, but it was pointless and didn't do anything else except further give examples of Daniel's and Luce's baseless love.

Anyway, there is stuff that happens. Angels die and there's this huge climactic moment (which isn't that climactic, really. We were all expecting it), and also a couple "big" reveals. You might be surprised, you might not. Kate has really amped up the description. I mean, she's never been that bad at it, but I really noticed it in this book. I actually quite enjoyed it, except for the parts where it got all weepy and melodramatic. I never really liked Dee. She just seemed a bit too deux ex machina for my tastes, and her dialogue was really awkward. I guess she was supposed to be a wise old owl among the little winged birdies, but she just sounded like she was pulling shit out of her ass.

I guess where this book really fails is the characterization part. Luce is as useless as ever, and I found her general limp noodle-ness, as well as her whole caring about others as an obvious attempt to cull readers' sympathy, extremely grating on my nerves.

 

Daniel, of course, it as emasculated as ever. He doesn't do anything besides fluttering around and going "Shh" whenever Luce tries to ask a question. I just don't understand why it took so long for her to figure out the truth about herself. Sure, in her past lives, she wasn't allowed, but why couldn't she know in her human one? This self-awareness thing sounds really phony to me.

Lucifer is... I don't even. Kate manages to make him sound not like the lonely, complex figure from Paradise Lost, but rather a really arrogant and hateful teenage boy. He actually says things like "Baby, that's your Achilles' heel."

What kind of evil mastermind calls people "baby"?! Or maybe they do, but they sound really sleazy and laughable in the process.

So, there's Lucifer. Then there's God. Or should I say GodDESS.

That's right. God is a woman. Kate is really having fun with this, isn't she? First Gabbe, and now God, of all people.

Let me be honest. I don't think anyone should try to portray God in a book. I'm not Christian or religious or anything, but I just find it difficult to be able to use the right words to capture the inspiration of so many religions of the world. Most authors will mess it up, and that's what happened here. Maybe it was an attempt to buoy the feminists, or she was just trying to twist things a bit, but it did nothing, especially since God didn't seem that frightening or like someone who created the universe. It just... didn't make sense. Also, there were these fluctuations in capitalization. Like sometimes God would be called You, then other times just "she" or "you." So the religious/angelology/demonology part of this book is still called into question. I guess my gif doesn't have much oomph now, if God is really the person who's portrayed in this book.

The ending was blah. It's been done before. If you've read Reincarnation by Suzanne Weyn, you'd know what I'm talking about. Astonishing conclusion my ass. I care about Cam, too. What the hell happened to him? At least he had some spice to him. He appeared approximately two times before being overshadowed by Daniel again.

Ugh, Daniel. You ruin everything.

Anyhow. This series is finally over. Hopefully, Kate has learned some things.

Also, I think it would've been really funny if Luce's roommate Nora was Nora Grey from Hush, Hush. They could've shared all their issues with overprotective boyfriends and dysfunctional lives and cried together.

YAY FALLEN IS OVER LET'S ALL REJOICE.

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Waiting on Wednesday (7)

"Waiting On" Wednesday is a weekly event hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine that allows us to appropriately squeal over upcoming releases.

THIS WEEK'S PICK:

Monstrous Beauty by Elizabeth Fama

Publication Date: September 4th, 2012

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

 

 

Fierce, seductive mermaid Syrenka falls in love with Ezra, a young naturalist. When she abandons her life underwater for a chance at happiness on land, she is unaware that this decision comes with horrific and deadly consequences.

Almost one hundred forty years later, seventeen-year-old Hester meets a mysterious stranger named Ezra and feels overwhelmingly, inexplicably drawn to him. For generations, love has resulted in death for the women in her family. Is it an undiagnosed genetic defect . . . or a curse? With Ezra’s help, Hester investigates her family’s strange, sad history. The answers she seeks are waiting in the graveyard, the crypt, and at the bottom of the ocean—but powerful forces will do anything to keep her from uncovering her connection to Syrenka and to the tragedy of so long ago.

This book was actually published yesterday, but I'm looking forward to it nevertheless because I don't have my grubby little hands actually touching its neony-green cover yet. I've heard lots of good things from fellow reviewers about the haunting creepiness of this book, and boy am I in the mood for some of that. Can't wait to read it!